Sonntag, 28. November 2010

best time

i just love this time of the year ^^
the first snow has fallen and the best thing about it is when you are outside when it's dark...
and as you know I am a smoker and I just went to smoke my last cigarette today ^^

and when the snow has fallen it does not get dark at all..
the snow reflects the smallest light and it looks like the world was going to end XD not dark but still it's not day..

that's sooo cool...i love it ^^

and it's so quiet..you can hear the snow falling but nothing else ^^
which gives you again the feeling the world's going to end...

that's so beautiful and somehow magical ^^
i can't put it into the right words...everything I say about it makes it smaller ^^;
so I'm going to shut up because I guess you all know what I mean

XOXO
Johnny

Samstag, 27. November 2010

WTF!

okay...honestly...are you kidding me?

what the hell are they thinking?

at work..everything is a mess..

we are now four people and we should work 30 hours a week..

last week I worked 45 hours...we all work a lot right now..35 hour a week at least..often more..
and now our boss said we will stay four..it has to work and everything..
yeah...it does work..the question is how..

we are all tired and exhausted..no one of us is going to make it very long if it stays like that..

I mean..if you work 10 hours without a break one day off work is not enough to relax..

my next week looks like that:

Monday: 5 hours
Tuesday: free
Wednesday: 10 hours
Thursday: free
Friday: 10 hours
Saturday: 10 hours
Sunday: free

and the part which annoys me the most is the fact that no one seems to care about a schedule >__>;

so every end of the week I get to know my working times for the next week. I can't plan anything in my rare free time because i never know how my week will look >__>;
awesome..

I hate it..

and we have enough of beeing made fun off...and that's what our boss is doing >__>;
if it goes on like that they will wonder when at the end of march no one is going to be there anymore u.u


and I'm angry because today was the first snow-day and I could not bake coockies like i always do >__<

work again tomorrow u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Freitag, 26. November 2010

decision is made

today (i did not have to work) I went to the city..
and I bought this book '1000 places to see before you die'..
I always wanted this book and it only costed 10 euros...so i finally bought it ^^

and it was like a sign..

i thought...you know I always said if I ever had enough money I'd go there and do this, see things..
I mean...now I am given the chance to do this. I never had more money in my life and I guess I never will have that much ever again...

I just have to take this oportunity..

and maybe I won't ruin my future with spending the money which could help me starting to live my own life...maybe my future is somewhere out there...

maybe I will do this alone...maybe not..
but I will do it!

I'm ging to sleep now because i have a weekend full of work waiting for me (and please don't make me start about work u.u)

XOXO
Johnny

Donnerstag, 25. November 2010

it's a trap u.u

last week my sister told me something...really important information u.u

when we sold our house in england my parents got half of the money and the other half was kept by my grandparents...
now my sister told me that the money my grandparents got was divided again and my sister and I are going to get the money at the end of march next year...
it's really a lot of money...

I don't know what to do with it...I mean I could think of a hundred things to do...but I don't want to do anything stupid u.u

I could safe the money...would be a good idea..you know to move out and living my own live..

but on the other hand..I could finally do many things I always wanted...traveling *___*
I could go to Paris again and to Amsterdam...and London..and I always wanted to see New York...^^; and Japan of course u.u
but I would spend all the money...

>___>; damn...

XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 23. November 2010

been a bit lazy..

I have not been writing a lot the last days ^^;
but there was not much to say either ^^

I spent the weekend at the theater. I love it.
The work at the theater shows us not to be afraid of our feelings and to be more confident with what we do ^^
we can do everything we want and can try out things without someine judging us ^^ that's cool..

yesterday I've been at work..well ^^;
it was okay..

today I did not have to go to work so I went for a short visit to my old school. I really love looking at our 'Wall af Fame' were we all put our hand-prints ^^











then I went to the city and bought some new DVDs.
Fantasia, Lost Boys - The Thirst aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Super Mario Bros (yes...someone really made a movie out of it ^^;) i did not have the chance to watch it but i guess it's really stupid XD

tomorrow I have to work early again so I better go to sleep now u.u
and I have to stay longer tomorrow because we have this team-meeting again..

XOXO
Johnny

Samstag, 20. November 2010

free weekend

so...I've been working on friday unt il 5 pm and it was really tough x___x
but now I have a whole weekend without work ^___^
and I want to enjoy every minute of it (as far as I can...I'm really exhausted...)

sooo...yesterday my father met with some friends and my mum and I watched a movie.
'The Court Jester' starring Danny Kaye
It is soooooo funny! XD
just watch this clip:

The Court Jester Fighting Scene
(the really funny part about this scene starts at 3:40 XD)

or watch this:

Danny Kaye speaks 'german' XD
(watch from 0:46 ^^)

then I went to Keung for a movie-night ^__^
and now most of you know 'Wild Zero'. AWESOME! you'll now understand what I meant when I said it's the ultimate movie ^^
and we watched 'Girly Man' XD

GIRLY MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN XD

I spent the night at his place although we did not sleep very much ^^
then in the morning I met my mum to buy some stuff for our christmastree...it's going to be pink this year *___*

I went home with my mum to wash my hair and then I went to the theater for our next meeting. It was soooo cool *____*
we worked a little on the music but I won't tell you what we did because I don't want to spoiler you...but it was great..a magical moment :D

now I'm going to visit the Christkindlmarkt with my sister but not for long because I'm really tired..but I want to spend some time with her >__<

tomorrow we have another meeting in the theater and I'm really excited ^^

XOXO
Johnny

Donnerstag, 18. November 2010

exhausted

I'm really exhausted today...10 hours work and no break...
u.u

but somehow...all those problems made us work together a little bit..
natascha always asked me how I was doing and if everything was okay..
and she said she would always have my back if I don't want to do this or that...like working alone or cooking alone..
it made us a little more like a team...
I like that..it makes it...bearable..
at least a little bit.

i don't really have time to write anything more (and there's not much more to write either because I have been at work all day..)

my feet hurt..I'm tired..
and I have to work tomorrow again for 10 hours...wuhuuu..
>___>;
at least i can go home at 5 pm

XOXO
Johnny

Mittwoch, 17. November 2010

today i took a first look at the new Donauzentrum. I did not like to go there for a while in order not to get into this hype...and I made it ^^
it looks pretty good and there are a few cool shops and I saw that there are people needed at the new Desigual-Shop...maybe..

and I went to saturn and bought 'I love you Phillip Morris'...I just love this movie *___*
And I saw another DVD which was really strange..'Meatball machine'
XD
I'd never thought normal human beeings would like to watch such a movie...

then I had another Starbucks coffee and went home to spend two realxing hours at home before going to work...

work...u.u
Michi said he was not feeling well and left together with Natascha and Angelina...awesome >___>;
if I would just not show up or leave earlier because I'm not feeling well they would rip my ass open...
and I did feel bad at some days..
I'm pissed..
and thinking about the two days to come does not make it any better..
u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 16. November 2010

can someone just shoot me? >__>;

this is going to be tough u.u

well...now that Judith is gone we have a problem with the schedule because we have to rewrite it from this week on. now it seems like we have to do 10-hour shifts all the time..
like: 2 days work, 2 days off work, 2 days work and so on...and 10 hours everyday..

it's the best thing we can do right now and I know it

the problem is: we don't know if Elvira likes the idea...and if she does not want it that way we really have a problem...there's just no other way...
and there are a lot of other things we have to think of...

but what worries me the most is...I know I am weak and this is going to be same sort of stress I had in school...
and it's just a matter of time until i will break, not physically but mentally..
I mean..I will have to give up a lot of things..the youth-projekt at the theater, which really means a lot to me..
and my friends..I don't know how to find time for them...I won't even find time for me..
which means I will work and work but I will never get a real break or have the time to relax and just let go...
that's the same situation i have been in before...and that did not end well...
I don't want this kind of feeling anymore..

it really drives me crazy...

Montag, 15. November 2010

everything's fucked :D

I had a really nice day...until work started u.u

I went to the bank to refer my mum some money and I had a coffee at Starbucks. At home a had a great lunch and I really thought it would be a nice day...

yeah...>___>;

at work I heard Judith, the new one, is going to quit after wednesday...
I'm not mad at her or something, i can totally understand her.

The thing is...the schedule for december was finally done and everyone was pleased with they way it was...
now that Judith is leaving we have to change it...AGAIN!!! >___>;
I don't know what this will mean for me...I guess I can cancel all my plans..
somehow I knew it..it was too good to be true...>__>;
we also have to do something with the rest of november...I can't do all the cooking alone.
It's a lot of stress right now and I really hate it.
I'd really like to leave too but now I really can't do it. I can't let them down. I hate myself for beeing so nice because I know all the shit is going to come back at me u.u

and I'm really worried about january...
because Elvira has some holidays...actually the whole month..
and Angelina also took some holiday.
And I thought we would still be three: Natascha, Judith and me >__>;
I think everyones smart enough to see the problem.
Judith is gone and Natascha and I are going to be alone in january. I really don't know what they are going to do about it...
and we actually planned to cook the whole meal in january..
I don't think this is going to happen u.u

whatever..
tomorrow we are going to talk about it u.u

XOXO
Johnny

could be worse

sooo...If you have a bad day and just feel fucked today here's something to make you feel better ^^


XOXO
Johnny

Sonntag, 14. November 2010

Christkindlmarkt!

today my sister, her boyfriend and my grandma come to eat. ^^ it was sooooo delicious *___*
i wish I could cook like my mum...
u.u

after eating my sister packed some of her stuff that's still at our place and we got in the car. after we dropped them off at their place we went to visit my grandpa at the hospital. He's alright but really bored u.u
i can understand that. I hope he can go home fast.
the whole time we were at the hospital i sat in the wheelchair. just for fun you know. driving around and stuff XD actually i can handel it very well... it seems i have a secret talent..
i wanted to have a race with my grandpa but my mum and grandma did not think it was a good idea ^^;

then i quickly went home with my mum and went to iris to try on the parts of my coat ^^
i wish i had more time for her and for everyone else u.u

but i stole some of my spare free time and went to christkindlmarkt with benny ^^
we had so much fun. i really needed that. he bought me so much cool and delicious stuff *___*

now I'm at home and I will go to bed soon...work tomorrow u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Freitag, 12. November 2010

personal weekend

my personal weekend is over now because tomorrow I have to work again...the whole day
x___x

sooo...today I went to 'Klangfarbe' with Kevin, my Base-Prince ^^
And we came there and I knew immediatley I can't play...
there are people sitting and playing like 'WTF' and i feel so untalented u.u
even kevin. He took that base and started playing so fast and I was like O_____O
then he wanted me to play XD yeah, totally...
i would not just make a fool of myself in front of him but in front of everyone there >__>;

and what I absoluteley don't get is the fact that Kevin says he's not a good player...he's like so awesome and sooooo talented even he can't read the notes..
i really admire him..

and what I really like about him...when he starts to play his whole mimic changes and suddenly he looks like a totally different person. somehow he looks like an old man with a lot of experience...like he never did something else. it looks like he spent years over years just playing the base..amazing

then i went to catch up my sister from work and i spent some time at her place ^^
but at the bookstore i saw something ^^
that picture is for you alex:



















XD awesome


sooo...my grandpa is feeling better and I'm really glad..i was so worried..

now i have to go to sleep now...work tomorrow u.u
blääääh~

XOXO
Johnny

Donnerstag, 11. November 2010

-insert title- 2

i was really productive today ^^ at first I made some muffins ^___^ yummy

then i went to visit my sister at work because i miss her ^^;
and i brought her one of my muffins...
she had her final exam and she did great ^___^

i spent some time at the bookstore and bought a new book...
i know i said i don't have much money..but i love books ^^;
XD

then raffi asked me if I want to spend some time with her so i went to the city and we had some coffee...
and then my mum called me because we wanted to watch 'Lord of the Rings' today but she can't because my grandpa is at the hospital...
he had some sort of stroke..
when she told me I thought I was having a stroke too..
and just before i was really starting to panic my mum told me everything was fine and it's not that worse..
but still I'm worried...
>___<
I hope my grandpa is going to be fine soon...

don't know what to do tomorrow...
I think I forgot something I wanted to do u.u
whatever..

XOXO
Johnny

Mittwoch, 10. November 2010

nostalgia

today I went to visit my school before going to the city. I used the chance to talk to a few teachers and former schoolmates. I miss it >___<
but still it's a little strange to go there ^^;


Then I went to the city to get my Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks *_____* Yummy!
and they got those super delicious christmas coockies ^____^
maybe I will go to Starbucks again tomorrow XD (even though I really can't afford it)
But I met Shane at Coffee Shop. Strange to sit at Coffee Shop with a Starbucks Coockie and drink XD
I was scared Waris would come and shout 'Out! Out!' XD


And Shane drew Lady Gaga XDD
'Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah~
Roma-Roma-ma-ah~

Fleischlaberl~'
XDDD

But I had to go home early because I had to work in the afternoon and I had really, really, really bad period pains. so i had to take some painkillers (two at once, to be precise XD)
it got a little better but i still felt awful u.u

work was okay...

and I'm glad I don't have to work the next two days...I don't feel well lately..
I'm always tired and stuff u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 9. November 2010

-insert titel-

today was tough u.u
I had to cook at work on my own which is tough because you are really under time pressure u.u
and I never cooked zucchinisoup..
But I did pretty well ^___^
i just had problems with the seasoning because I'm scared I'm going to use too much salt or stuff u.u
so Angelina helped me with it.
But everyone liked it and I was so proud! <3


And my boss asked me to stay another month because two of my co-wokers are taking some holidays in january and they still need me.
I know I said I want to quit but....I'm just too nice. And don't want to let them down even though they give me a hard time u.u
and of course I had to think about the money.
And if I work in January I have woked 6 months and if I can't find another job immadeatly I get some unemployment benefit ^^


After work I thought I need a little treat because I did so well today and I wanted to go shopping.
but after checking my account balance I knew it wasn't a good idea u.u
I did it anyway. So I spent 75 euros ^^;
I just can't handle money


But I bought this super cool jacket! *__*
I love it!


























and it has this super cool feature:

i like it ^^








and I'm glad I have to work in the afternoon tomorrow. so the only thing I have to 'cook' is bread and butter XDD
I think I can make it...

And I'm going to write down what I have to cook next week so I can try it at home. It should be easier then ^^

XOXO
Johnny

Montag, 8. November 2010

coffee and Keung ^^

today after work I met Keung and we had a coffee and talked ^^
It's good to see his toe is alright now
we did not have much time because he had to learn and I have to get up early tomorrow (again >__>;)
but it was nice and I enjoyed the time. Somehow it's so easy to have a good time with Keung no matter how you felt a minute before meeting him XD

work is stupid...I don't like the people and they do not seem to like me. they really give me a hard time u.u
And I really hate the fact I have to cook at work...i just can't do it >__>;
I'm always scared I'm doing something wrong..
u.u

I guess I just have to stay focused on my stuff u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Samstag, 6. November 2010

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy~

sooo.. At first: I know I said I was going to post something about Disneyland...but I don't really feel like it ^^;
I mean I've been there and did everything XD
And the pictures are on Facebook.

And today my parents went to visit my aunt. So I'm at home alone.

But Alex and Jolly came over and we watched some Disney movies and talked ^^
It was cool.
Now they went home and I cleaned up the house because I have to work tomorrow and my parents will come back meanwhile.

work is going to be tough tomorrow. From 8:30 am until 7 pm
u.u
blääääh~

Now I have some time until I have to go to sleep. And I don't really know what to do...

And going to sleep won't be that easy today...
Beeing at home alone still freaks me out a little bit. It's different when I know my parents are going to come back during the night but...I don't know. I'm too much of a child to like beeing at home alone over the night...It scares me a little bit..
>___>
And earlier it wasn't a problem because my sister was there but now she's gone u.u

I hope I will find a little sleep at least u.u

XOXO
Johnny

Mittwoch, 3. November 2010

GANYMED BOARDING



feat. Ernie Mangold and a naked actress XD
(I love Ernie Mangold. She was awesome as Puck!)


next wednesday is the last chance to see it ^^

XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 2. November 2010

reality is crushing down on me

I just came back from Disneyland Paris! ^^
Actually my mother had to push me back u.u
I did not want to come back at all.

Once I was there I felt like one of the Lost Boys. Somehow I forgot about everything like they forget about their parents and everything.
I forget about my father at home, about work, just everything about real life.

It's hard for me to accept that the real world is not made of cotton candy and pixiedust u.u

and I'm glad no one noticed the few tears running down my face at the airport
I know it's ridiculous...
but now I'm back just everything and everyone pisses me off >__>;

maybe I just need some time..

on friday or saturday I will post a whole protocol and some pictures but for know I will go to sleep with my new Peter Pan-Plushie because I have to go to work tomorrow.

Maybe I will dream of a better world.

XOXO
Johnny