Mittwoch, 16. Mai 2012

Loki'd!!

Endlich hat wieder jemand das Video hochgeladen ^^ und bevor es wieder gelöscht wird hab ichs mir runter geladen >D

ich könnts ohne pause immer wieder anschaun! xD Er is so ein blödmann!



'Uhuhuhu! I am the bad guy!' XD klingt wie Tigger.



XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 15. Mai 2012

sweet dreams ...

Alter, ich hatte heute den geilsten Traum ever! XD
Ich würde töten um das live zu sehen! Die Avengers tanzen den Time Warp!

ich war so beflügelt das ich das gleich mal niedergekritzelt hab ^^




XOXO
Johnny

Montag, 14. Mai 2012

Finally!

es is zwar total unwichtig eigentlich, aber mir is endlich eingefallen, was mein perfekter patronus is
*___*

Eine Hyäne! xD


*0*

XOXO
Johnny

Mittwoch, 9. Mai 2012

getting ubducted like a pro

Certain of us humanoids are more likely to get abducted by aliens than others (for reasons unknown to us), and quite bluntly, you may or may not fall into a given popular category. Not only do aliens need a darn good reason to choose you, you just need to be in the right place at the right time.
Let’s talk about those of us who are most likely to be abducted.
There are certain types of folks out there who are seemingly more attractive to aliens than others. We have no idea why, but this is the way it is. For example, young children are usually more likely to be abducted than the elderly. Why is that? Here are some obvious reasons:


-Children are innately willing to cooperate with aliens. Aliens are “crazy” and “cool.” Decrepit grandparents often resemble extraterrestrials. I don’t know a single little kid who wouldn’t jump at the chance to “take old Uncle Earl’s spaceship for a spin.”


-Parents tell kids not to talk to strangers, but never aliens. They are captivating to kiddies. Toy Story factors into this.


-The developmental stages of the human race are obviously fascinating to outside life (minus the bed-wetting, vomiting, and nose-picking).


-Kids have plenty of time in their expected life span for tracking and monitoring post-abduction.


-Small children tend to carry Skittles, rocks, and crayons around in their pockets. Clearly fascinating stuff to aliens.



If you are NOT a child and are still interested in being abducted, fear not. There are certain groups of Homo sapiens, regardless of age, that aliens remain eager to study. These groups include:
Poets
Musicians
Beliebers
Mathematicians
People who look like Harry Potter characters
Grand master chess players
Video gamers
Collectors of odd items (like vintage sleeping bags or iron ostrich eggs)
College professors
Hobos
Really fat people in VW Bugs
Middle aged men (or women) who resemble Harrison Ford
Financial advisors
Super violent female soccer players
Smokers (of any kind)
Evil medical practitioners of proctology
The guy who drives the snowplow
Used car dealers
MySpace stalkers
Pizza delivery boys
Shopping cart wranglers
Crime fighters
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
Punk rockers
Small business owners (without earthquake insurance)
Reasonably talented arsonists
Speed metal drummers
Farmers
Attractive female dental hygienists
Smurfs
Kids who cheat on tests
Basketball players over seven feet tall
Politicians
Disgruntled US Postal Service employees
Neighborhood dad garage bands
Magicians
Really pretty girls
The guy at the beach with the metal detector
Monster truck rally enthusiasts
Clergymen
Barefoot NFL kickers
Medical students
Kenny G
Cruise ship captains
People who put ketchup on everything
John Wayne fans
NASCAR drivers
People with July birthdays
Scuba divers
Teenagers who wear shorts all winter
Baristas
Rodeo clowns
Hot Topic employees


This is by no means a definitive list. If you do not fall into one or more of these categories, there is still hope for you. Please take note of the following areas and times of day in which extraterrestrials are likely to snatch you:


-Dark areas. Aliens love to hover over obscure or peculiar places. Corn fields, rural wetlands, botanical gardens, drainage ditches, abandoned warehouses, gravel roads, wildlife reservations, country churches, overgrown cemeteries, rustic camping grounds, deserted construction sites, sewage reservoirs, discontinued logging areas, wind farms, etc. For this reason, the brilliance and luster of large cities often make them the least likely of places from which to be abducted.


-Trailer parks. Aliens are reluctant to abduct people from structures that are attached to the earth, possibly having something to do with aliens being nomadic travelers themselves. Whatever the reason, if you are truly serious about becoming an abductee, you need to sell your four-bedroom home and move into a trailer house as soon as possible.


-Prime locations for human selection are large forests, open countryside, remote islands, mountaintops, deep canyons, and vast deserts. While many of these places have significant amounts of sunlight during the day, nightfall creates the perfect environment for abduction. Watch the sky. The more stars you can see in the sky, the more likely it is that you are in an attractive area. Depending on your location, the darkest time of night will vary. Generally, you should not expect noticeable alien activity between the hours of midnight and 4 am.


A few things to remember:


-When you enter your predetermined dark location, bring a flashlight along. If you trip and injure yourself, it could weaken your appeal. It is more time efficient NOT to have to repair a human subject before studying it. Bring something to eat as well because there is no way to be sure exactly when the aliens will show up, if at all. Scientific studies indicate that humans carrying/eating sandwiches have been chosen more regularly than others (the sandwich bag is usually left behind). Taco Bell employees have also been known to disappear into restrooms and never come out again (although scientists are unsure if this has any direct correlation to alien activity or not).


-Make sure you go alone. Extraterrestrials are withdrawn beings and will NOT risk a chance of being sighted and/or photographed as a result of hovering too closely to a group of humanoids gazing at the stars with their arms open. Abductees are always carefully studied and chosen on a one-by-one basis to ensure optimal selection. You should sit, lie or stand by yourself in a remote area and allow the aliens to get a good look at you if/before they should choose to nab you. On rare occasions, a human is selected with good intention but is subsequently hurled back to earth after a few minutes of first impressions aboard the alien spacecraft (causing serious injury and/or death). As a potential abductee, you MUST regard this as an occupational hazard and accept the risks involved. You CANNOT be hesitant or timid. Aliens don’t want crybabies. Extraterrestrials don’t abduct wimps.


-Be yourself. Don’t look too anxious to be taken away. Don’t make your desire for transport obvious. Aliens are not stupid; if you seem too eager, they’ll assume you’re a spy. Don’t wear dark sunglasses. Don’t wear an alien costume or carry a glittery sign begging to be chosen. Costumes are insulting and you must respect their right to choose. When you arrive at your predetermined location, pass the time without appearing impatient but do not appear too idle or the aliens may assume you’re expecting them and will subsequently pass over with no indication. Appear semi-occupied. Whistle to yourself, read a book, listen to your iPod, play golf on your cell phone, whittle sticks with your pocketknife, play Solitaire (if there is enough moonlight), crochet an afghan, softly hum the Alphabet Song, twirl your mustache, do cartwheels or pushups. All abductees are at least seemingly unsuspecting.


-Should you happen to notice a coherent monochromatic light, tractor beam, electromagnetic laser effusion, stimulated emission of photons, or all of the above, RUN. Aliens love the thrill of the chase. Put up a fight, look angry, lash out, act like you don’t want to go with them, shout things like “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” or “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” or simply“BLEAHHHHH!!!!” This alone makes you an attractive candidate.


Tips to ensure a successful abduction:


-Above all, be open to new experiences. This is perhaps the most overlooked aspect of alien abduction. Simply having an open mind can make a person more accepting to the various probes and experiments that aliens conduct. Extraterrestrials need humans willing to look at things from a different perspective or the abduction process will not be a win-win situation for anyone.


-Talk casually with your friends/family (or to yourself in the mirror) about your interest in aliens, your desire to be an ambassador for the human race, your suspicion that extraterrestrials are superior, et cetera. Alien spies are everywhere; if they pick up on your conversations, you’re likely to get at least a UFO sighting. Drop subtle hints. This is known as announcing your candidacy. It can take a number of forms — casual conversation over a plate of sushi, or the purchase of abduction literature for example. It is imperative that this is done correctly. Don’t be too eager or too apathetic, for at either extreme, you risk attracting the wrong alien.


-Acquire some interesting or unusual characteristics — like juggling, salsa dancing, javelin throwing, or dentistry for instance. Occasionally otherworldly visitors do not come to Earth for human selection, vengeance, or even experimental purposes — but for entertainment. Some visitors are often the insubordinate children of aristocratic alien dictators out on secret joyrides in their parents’ spacecraft. They are not interested in the mundane human cliche. They want to see backflips, double-jointed thumbs, mullets, and champion hot dog eaters.
If you consider this advice, you have a good chance of being abducted. There is however, no guarantee.


Good luck to you.
XOXO
Johnny

Dienstag, 8. Mai 2012

some words which aren't real words but should be


Accordionated – adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.


Aeropalmics – n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.


Mummabolic Chorus – n. When three or more people are singing along to a tune and suddenly discover they are all faking their way through the unintelligible lyrics.


Narcolepulacy – n. The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight to also yawn.



Oreosis – n. The practice of eating the cream center of an Oreo before eating the cookie outsides.


Pajangle – n. Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.


Prestofrigeration – n. The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to
the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.


Rignition – n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one’s car with the engine already running.


Sark – n. The marks left on one’s ankle after wearing tube socks all day.


Turfigee and Pedigee – n. The two extreme target points of a rotary lawn sprinkler, TURFIGEE being the safest point at which to walk past, PEDIGEE being the most dangerous.


Tanumbum – n. The sorry side of the Christmas tree that gets placed toward the wall.



Wondracide - v. The act of mangling a piece of soft white bread with a part of cold butter.


Aquadextrous – adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.


Carperpetuation – n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.


Disconfect – v. To sterilize a piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow “remove” all the germs.


Elbonics – n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).


Frust – n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Lactomangulation – n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.


Peppier – n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.


Phonesia – n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.


Pupkus – n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.


Telecrastination – n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

Sonntag, 6. Mai 2012

Titan AE

einer meiner absoluten Lieblingsfilme früher. ^^
Mit einem super tollen Soundtrack


Das weckt Erinnerungen ;__;
XD

XOXO
Johnny

Distraction

Ich weiß ich sollte lernen aber das macht mehr Spaß xD




User: You know, I am Batman.



Cleverbot: You are!? That's so cool!


User: Yes I am. And my best friend is Hulk.


Cleverbot: I thought your best friend was Kylie?


User: I am Batman.


Cleverbot: Cool. I am the Joker.


User: No, I am the Joker.


Cleverbot: No, you are the Batman!


User: No, you are Batman. I am Robin.


Cleverbot: No, I'm not.


User: Yes, you are Robin.


Cleverbot: Am I?


User: Yes. And I am the Hulk.


Cleverbot: You get green when you're angry?


User: No, that's you. I am Thor.


Cleverbot: Oh. I am sorry.


User: How dare you talking like that to the son of Odin?!


Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.


User: It's okay, how could you know I am Ironman.


Cleverbot: That is the very question that drives me.


User: Well, I just told you.


Cleverbot: No you didn't.


User: Yes, I just told you I am Spiderman.


Cleverbot: I am the female.


User: There's no female Spiderman.


Cleverbot: Then who did you love?


User: Wolverine.


Cleverbot: Why?


User: He's cute.


Cleverbot: He is veryyy cute.


User: Stop talking like that about Wolverine!


Cleverbot: I'm talking about you.


User: No, I am Magneto. I am not cute.


Cleverbot: You're making a note about what?


User: That you are wrong and I am Superman.


Cleverbot: Or are you a human and I am a bot?


User: Yes indeed.


Cleverbot: What do you think about me?


User: You are a machine.


Cleverbot: What are you?


User: I am Loki and you distract me from studying.


Cleverbot: Yes.


[half an hour later]

User: My name is Thor you moron!



Cleverbot: What is your name?


User: Cat Woman.


Cleverbot: No.


User: Yes it is!


Cleverbot: No it is NOT.


User: YES IT IS!




Und das ist der Grund warum ich durchfallen werde xD


XOXO
Johnny

A ton of rules for being a pirate

-A talking parrot is the preferred pirate companion. A small monkey is an acceptable substitute, unless it flings its feces at people. Then it is an awesome substitute.


-A pirate must always wear boots, except for those with peg legs, in which case one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are indescribably inappropriate.


-A pirate shall never wrap presents or attend baby showers.


-Never under any circumstances may a pirate throw his mashed potatoes up against the wall or paint daisies on a big red rubber ball.


-When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%.


-A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. This goes without saying.


-No pirate shall “discuss his feelings,” unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.


-Real pirates love speed metal. The ability to play incredibly fast double kick is a favorable advantage. Dragonforce, As I Lay Dying, Megadeth and Extol are common inspirations.


-During close-range combat, brash sword fighting insults are required. In the event both participants are still alive at the end of a fight, the participant with the superior insults shall be declared the victor.


-No pirate shall ever wear a fanny pack.


-A real pirate is a recluse. He will never “go out with his extroverted friends for sushi and ice cream in Nashville” or tell everyone how awesome a city is because it has “tons of cool shops, places to hang out, awesome clubs, vintage record stores, or legit hipster boutiques.” That junk is for babies.


-Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable form of headwear allowed. Fedoras, bowler derbies, beanies, baseball caps, cowboy hats, du-rags, Santa hats, mickey ears, ski masks, bike helmets, sombreros, ear muffs, or anything with lace or flowers is not permitted.


-Real pirates have chest hair. If you cannot grow chest hair, you may be a cabin boy.


-No pirate shall ever drive a minivan, unless he drives it into a tavern for the purpose of looting barrels of rum from said tavern. Upon completion of this task, the minivan is to be burned. No exceptions.


-No matter how hard it may be raining, two pirates may never share an umbrella.


-If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep his pirate status.


-Depressed pirates may not snuggle with stuffed animals.


-A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.


-Pirates may never use the words “fresh” or “feelings,” and certainly not together (as in “I have that not-so-fresh feeling”).


-A pirate must never visit a tanning salon for obvious reasons.


-While creativity is encouraged during any bar fight or battle at sea, pirates may only use the following types of sword: falchions, scimitars, rapiers, and particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja-like swords are strictly forbidden unless the pirate rips off the ninja’s arm and hurls it as a projectile.


-No pirate shall ever sit on a toilet seat, for any reason.


-Pirates think John Deere farm equipment is “totally awesome.”


-A pirate must never wear a patch that is any color other than black, unless it is Halloween, on which occasion a patch with an eyeball painted on the outside may be worn.


-A pirate’s diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement.


-No pirate will ever raise his pinky when drinking any sort of beverage.


-When choosing clothing, even if it looks dirty, or smells dirty, it is clean.


-Crowd surfing, head banging, moshing, throwing down, and hardcore dancing at straight edge metal shows are all widely encouraged activities.


-A pirate may ride in a rowboat, but only if traveling to or from his ship. The use of a yellow plastic kayak is only permitted if used for cannon target practice.


-No pirate shall ever play wiffle ball.


-A pirate does not read poetry unless said poetry is scrawled on the walls of truck stop bathroom stalls.


-A pirate may never shave below the neck. Shaving above the neck is allowed, but only if the pirate shaves his entire head. In the presence of cannibals, a mohawk is acceptable.


-No pirate may do the arm movements for “YMCA”, or engage in any type of country-western line-dancing.


-Pirates do not “IM”. The only form of instant messaging allowed is a sword through the chest.


-Dental hygiene is not a priority. However, should there be occasion, strong rum or saltwater may be used as mouthwash. Anything “minty fresh” is strictly forbidden.

Samstag, 5. Mai 2012

Reaction while watching The Avengers


Some Harry Potter Facts


















The eyes are the mirror of the soul?

I remembered this article today. The
first time I read it was while doing
research for my biology essey two years
ago. I coudln't use it for that but 
still I think it's really interesting.
People always say 'The eyes are the 
mirror of our soul.'
So, read and enjoy!
















Eye color shows your character, 
say French scientists.
Gray eyes have two kinds of meaning 
in a person. Love is manifested 
in women,only when the are worshiped 
by the opposite sex. Gray eyed 
gentlemen can sometimes be cold, powerful and 
of sharp nature and never sentimental.
People with blue eyes are endowed with 
a rich imagination. They are artistic, 
fascinating and hold contact with others. 
Often they make generous and noble gestures 
toward others. Their character is detected 
with a sense of humor.
Brown eyes speak of calm and sobriety however 
hide a fiery passion. These are people of action, 
not words.
Green eyed people are gifted with sharp as a 
razor mind and immediately assess each situation 
in life, have a tough character and respect 
only successful people.
Colorful eyes are gifted with joviality and 
fun. Parents and spouses are friends and 
hold much love, not selfish by nature and 
valued at work however are often used by 
unscrupulous bosses and close people.
Hazel eyed people have a turbulent passion right 
from the soul. They often have explosives 
confrontations with even the closest of people, 
however they form a strong unity with love and sex 
but are jealous and suspicious people. 

Freitag, 4. Mai 2012

What the hell's a Hufflepuff?
















You need more reasons why being a Hufflepuff is awesome?
Come at me, bro!

1. We're particular good finders. Hide and seek? Where's Waldo? You can't beat us!

2. The actual Hogwarts champion at the Triwizard Tournament was a Hufflepuff. No hate on Harry but Hogwarts would have been represented by a Badger.

3. Only a Hufflepuff was good enough for Remus Lupin! Your argument is invalid!
4. Our common room? By the kitchen! Enjoy your walk up to the seventh floor, Gryffindors. Enjoy the freezing dungeons in winter, Slytherins! Meanwhile, we'll be eating some food and partying with the house elves.
5. One thing you'll always hear from Hufflepuffs: Be yourself. (and they mean it)
6. Hufflepuffs stick together - no Badger left behind.

7. Well, Ravenclaws, eagles may soar, but badgers don't get sucked into jet engines.
8. The words 'Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus' fit perfect for Hufflepuffs. Badgers may look harmless but I wouldn't provoke one if I were you.
9. J. K. Rowling has said that when she took an online Sorting Hat Quiz it sorted her into Hufflepuff.


10. This picture! XD















But the best reason is this:


























XOXO
Johnny

Happy Star Wars Day

May the 4th be with you!



















Which side would you choose?

XOXO
Johnny

Myths about Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.


Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.


Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.


On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.


Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.


Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.


Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.


Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.


Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.


A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become “normal.” Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.


XOXO 
Johnny