some words which aren't real words but should be

Accordionated – adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Aeropalmics – n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.

Mummabolic Chorus – n. When three or more people are singing along to a tune and suddenly discover they are all faking their way through the unintelligible lyrics.

Narcolepulacy – n. The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight to also yawn.

Oreosis – n. The practice of eating the cream center of an Oreo before eating the cookie outsides.

Pajangle – n. Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.

Prestofrigeration – n. The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to

the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Rignition – n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one’s car with the engine already running.

Sark – n. The marks left on one’s ankle after wearing tube socks all day.

Turfigee and Pedigee – n. The two extreme target points of a rotary lawn sprinkler, TURFIGEE being the safest point at which to walk past, PEDIGEE being the most dangerous.

Tanumbum – n. The sorry side of the Christmas tree that gets placed toward the wall.

Wondracide - v. The act of mangling a piece of soft white bread with a part of cold butter.


Aquadextrous – adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.


Carperpetuation – n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.


Disconfect – v. To sterilize a piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow “remove” all the germs.


Elbonics – n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).


Frust – n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Lactomangulation – n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.


Peppier – n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.


Phonesia – n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.


Pupkus – n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.


Telecrastination – n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.